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Now that’s out of the way, what are you going to do with the time you have?

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I don’t know a lot.

I don’t know why the universe was created or by whom, if anyone. I don’t know what my roommate’s cat thinks about me when I step out of the shower and run to my room, having forgotten a towel. I don’t know what a whip or a nae nae is. I don’t know a more relevant Gen Z trend to reference because if I did, then I’d know it. You know?

In fact, I don’t know much about life, the universe, and everything other than the answer is 42. …

A human trying his best.

When I was fourteen, I watched Scott Pilgrim vs. The World for the first time. It had everything I wanted: action, romance, comedy, a main character that was a dorky, awkward guy just like me. It’s my favorite movie, and it took me almost a decade to realize that Scott was an asshole.

I’m bringing this up because it was during a rewatch of Scott Pilgrim that I had a realization: I was an asshole.

I don’t mean that I was a bad person, or a mean person, or a malicious person, but simply that I was an asshole. I…

The 30-year-old comedian’s new Netflix special is all over TikTok, so maybe he’s not as out of touch with Zoomers as he jokes

Source: Netflix

I was fourteen the first time I heard Bo Burnham’s song “New Math,” which, as he describes, “takes something that’s not funny—math—and makes it offensive.”

It was like taking the first, long drag of a cigarette; I wanted more, and Burnham didn’t disappoint, releasing multiple specials, all culminating in 2016’s Make Happy.

The special ends with an auto-tuned rant inspired by Kanye West and gets deeply personal and real between jokes about Pringle cans and overstuffed burritos: “Come and watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself.”

Time blindness is a side-effect of ADHD that impairs your ability to know how much time has passed.

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Have you ever looked at the time and wondered, “How the hell is it already 3:00?” For me, it’s a daily occurrence. Hours, days, weeks, and entire months pass by in a flash, but I always considered that a consequence of getting older. It turns out there’s this thing called time blindness.

Adults typically develop an innate awareness of time. We understand how it passes and have a grasp of the amount of time something will take. Typically.

Anyone can experience time blindness — it’s actually prevalent for people experiencing grief, but it's a part of everyday life for those…

And you won’t improve until you listen to the people in your life.

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” — Oscar Wilde

When a dog spots itself in a mirror and freaks out, we laugh. “Haha, it’s you, you dummy! Okay, stop barking. No, wait, don’t — “ Glass shatters, someone screams, and we desperately hope we aren’t cursed with seven years of bad luck.

Since 1970, one simple test has shaped our understanding of self-awareness: Can something recognize itself in a mirror? …

A “busy day” can involve doing absolutely nothing at all when you have ADHD, but it’s not hopeless.

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Imagine being strapped to a chair, hands tied, while a fly buzzes around your head. You know the fly is there. You can hear it zipping past your ear, but you can’t swat it away. Now imagine a swarm of flies buzzing around your head. It would be an absolutely miserable feeling, but you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

For many adults with ADHD, this is an everyday reality. Well, metaphorically, at least. …

Murakami’s dreamlike stories provide a strangely sobering dose of reality because sometimes a monkey is just a monkey

How you were introduced to Murakami likely colors how you view his work. Beginning with his pop success Norwegian Wood, for example, might incline you to think of Murakami’s works as melancholy nostalgia pieces, a reflection on the losses and loves of the past. If, on the other hand, you started with The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, your impression might be colored by surrealist, dreamlike artistry and confusion.

Truth be told, Murakami’s work rarely fits into a singular category. Kafka on the Shore is a modern-day Oedipus tale about destiny, fate, and love, yet it carries the deep sorrow and longing…

Living in the present is overrated.

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“It’s okay if your thoughts wander,” a disembodied voice whispers into my ear. “Slowly try to pull your focus back to your breath.” I try and do as it says. In. Out. In. Out. What color should I paint the walls? Oh, damn it! Out! In. I need to pick up paper towels later. Crap!

By the time five minutes of guided meditation is up, so is my heart rate. It’s unfortunate, too, because before getting a pop-up notification telling me, “It’s time to meditate,” I was feeling calm.

Maybe I was doing it wrong. Who meditates wrongly? …

Change should happen because you want it to.

Photo by Alexander Popov on Unsplash

I’m horrible at dating. I never really had to. The girl I dated in high school, well, we knew each other from school. The one after her I met on Tinder, but we went on a handful of dates and then became a couple for two years. So I never, like, dated around, you know?

If I’m honest, the biggest barrier was that I didn’t know how to “sell myself.” Obviously, the best dating advice is to be authentic, but you still have to be your own sales rep in a way. …

It requires delicate care, patience, and knowledge of pruning

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I recently became a “plant guy.” It started with a succulent, and then I bought two plants at IKEA while looking for a new desk. Somehow, I’ve ended up with ten plants in my bedroom (it’s a roughly 100-square-foot area).

My favorite plant is a small bonsai tree I bought for $25 at a new café.

“Don’t those require a lot of work?” my roommate asked when I showed him the new purchase. I looked at the sadly yellowing tropical plant I got at Trader Joe’s hanging by my window and sighed.

“Yeah, well, I’m committed.”

And yes, caring for…

Austin Harvey

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