Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Using Humor to Cope With Suicidal Ideation

Is humor an effective coping tool for depression, or are jokes about suicide a cause for concern?

Photo by Dominik Vanyi on Unsplash

I made a joke once that I was rather proud of. I don’t remember it word for word, but an old coworker had been talking to me about life, depression, and careers, referring to each negative experience as “another step.”

I responded something like, “Yeah, and the last step is off a stool and breaking my neck on a noose.” We both laughed at the sudden darkness of it, a relatable, Haha! Yes, we are depressed!

I made “jokes” like that often back when I was waiting tables, especially at the peak slump of my depressive episodes. The humor was relatable enough; most people I know experience depression at least part of the time. Sometimes, we laugh not because something is funny, but simply because we’re caught off guard and can relate.

Then, something strange happened. In January, I started taking antidepressants, followed by stimulants for ADHD in March. I’d also, without making an effort to do so, stopped making jokes about killing myself.

I didn’t notice it until other people commented on it. “You seem happy,” they’d say. “You seem healthy.”